The Goal Post's Liveblog Highlights: France v Uruguay

Let us know what you think of our Match Liveblog highlights.  We'll have more color-commentary highlights coming soon, but in the mean time, here's a taste.

France v Uruguay

Zamundinho:
Welcome to Uruguay v France
14:12

Darkseid:
I think France easily wins the "hated by the rest of the world game"
14:13

Darkseid:
they also might win the "least controversial nation" game
14:14

Zamundinho:
I'm not sure where you get off thinking Uruguay is the least controversial nation
that honor clearly lies with North Korea
14:16

Darkseid:
France by far wins the "snobbiest wine" game
14:16


Zamundinho:
France also by far wins the "snobbiest whine" game
14:17

Darkseid:
and maybe the "least myopic world view" game
14:17


Darkseid:
and the "better health care" game
14:18


Darkseid:
and Uruguay in the same vein as before wins the "most white hispanics" game
14:24


Zamundinho:
Ok, we're done playing these games
Here come the national anthems
14:27

Zamundinho:
France is playing a 2-3-2-2-1? with Anelka up front.
No Henry, because he sucks, big time, almost as much as the coach, Domenech
14:30

Zamundinho:
Ribery, as always, looks like he recently lost a knife fight.
14:30
***
Zamundinho:
passed across the keeper's face by Ribery for Sidny Govou, but it went too far, and it's a goal kick
14:37

Darkseid:
his closing game is alot like 7-11's
14:37

Zamundinho:
sighted: a Brazil fan in the stadium, who is already drunkenly slouching to one side, taking deep breaths and blowing his vuvuzela into his neighbor's ear... that's why it's so loud, people just lay into that horn non-stop.
14:41

Zamundinho:
the Ref is walking up to Evra holding a yellow card...
14:42

Zamundinho:
and yes, Evra is carded for grabbing a Uruguayan midfielder
14:42

Zamundinho:
handjobs will never make up for pace
14:43

Zamundinho:
An excellent shot on goal from Forlan at the top of the box, and a wide-open rebound given up, but France cleared it with ease
14:46

Zamundinho:
Forlan looks pissed
14:46

Zamundinho:
He also looks like Ted Danson from "Cheers"
14:47

***

Zamundinho:
The British commentators are now throwing wild aspersions about players who "try to deceive the referee," which is "pure cheating" according to them.
15:01


Zamundinho:
guile, and the desire to deceive, may be "cheating" in English, but in Italian it's called "the other half of the football game"... remember if winning is an art (which it is), the Italians are the masters
15:02

Darkseid:
Im getting tired of the French f***ing up decent chances
15:02

Zamundinho:
So are their fans, whoever those misguided unfortunates may be
15:03

***

[Comment From SeanSean: ]
Guys - Let's not forget to mention in every France match that they squeeked into this WC via the Hand of Henry. They don't belong here, and the sooner they get dumped the better. Go Bafana Bafana!
15:18


Zamundinho:
Agreed Sean. Agreed.
15:20


Zamundinho:
For anyone unfamiliar with what Sean is referring to, just watch the second leg of the Ireland v France qualifying match:
http://footballblips.dailyradar.com/video/thierry-henry-handball-against-ireland-france-vs/
15:20

***

Darkseid:
Too much dribbling, poor passing play: I don't know what to say about this game.
15:36

Zamundinho:
Wait, there's a game on?
15:37

***

[Comment From SeanSean: ]
Did France show integrity with their desperate handball after failing to win their qualification group? Did Zizou show integrity when he head-butted another player in the middle of a match? To quote a great sage of world cup football: "don't hate the player, hate the game."
15:41

[Comment From KOKO: ]
Sean, that's why Omar from The Wire should be a WC commentator
15:41

[Comment From SeanSean: ]
Omar: All in the game yo, all in the game. Omar: Ayo, lesson here, Bey. You come at the king, you best not miss.
15:45

***

Zamundinho:
Uruguay gives up a free kick for jumping into France's keeper in an aerial challenge... that is a no-no
15:54

KO:
they play the game differently in the global south
15:55

Zamundinho:
The Global South... is that what's going on when residents of Pennsylvania and Ohio fly Confederate flags outside their domiciles?
15:56

KO:
no, that's called Civil War revisionism
15:57

Darkseid:
a black guy on and a black guy off, keeping a proper French balance of blacks on the field
15:59

Zamundinho:
yes, a proper French balance of black players on the field, which is to say, the inverse of the actual racial breakdown of the country
16:00

Darkseid:
They just disrupted the balance by taking off a white player and adding a black
16:02

KO:
affirmative action!
16:03

Zamundinho:
and now France breaks the racial balance, subbing out the white (and threatening) Gourcuff for Malouda, who has had a great season at Chelsea
16:03

Zamundinho:
Henry looks extremely pleased to be included in all the excitement
16:04

Zamundinho:
and Henry proves his worth, with an excellent faked injury to win a free kick
Friday June 11, 2010 16:04 Zamundinho
16:04

***
Zamundinho:
uh oh
here's some drama
16:17

Zamundinho:
France had a strong attack, passed into the box from the goal-line, to Henry, who struck at a defender
16:17

Zamundinho:
the defender may or may not have stopped the ball with his hand
16:17

Zamundinho:
Henry immediately stopped playing, looking to the ref for a handball
16:17

Zamundinho:
of course, if it takes one to know one, Henry can definitely spot a handball
but he probably should have kept playing, they may have scored
16:18
***


Zamundinho:
Diego Lugano is booked for not setting up properly
16:21

Zamundinho:
Henry set to take the kick
Reibery is standing behind him, looking surly
16:21

[Comment From Sean Sean: ]
weak free kick...weak weak weak
16:21

Darkseid:
true suspense is building
16:21

Zamundinho:
it hasn't happened yet
16:21

Zamundinho:
and it's into the wall
16:21

Zamundinho:
a terrible, terrible free kick
16:21

Darkseid:
absolute waste
16:21

Zamundinho:
and now Henry is raising his arms, looking for someone to blame
16:21

Zamundinho:
And that's the ball-game
16:21

Darkseid:
he might as well have taken a shit on the field
16:21

Zamundinho:
0-0 tie
16:22

Darkseid:
that would give France just as much chance of scoring
16:22

Zamundinho:
Agreed, plus, it would've given the crowd more to work with
16:22

Darkseid:
What a dud! France and Uruguay look to be at the bottom of the pack
16:23